Friday, March 23, 2007

Mark Morford thinks gardening makes you bland as milk

You read San Francisco Chronicle's Mark Morford? I do, and while I love his writing style and irreverent reverence toward life and this crazy, mixed up world we live in... this morning he dissed gardening! Big time! See following snippet. For more context, read the whole thing.

Any thoughts on why gardening makes you "bland-as-milk" in Mark's mind? Is it because posession of a patch of dirt on which to grow plants means you're stuck in one place? Does it mean you can never travel because all your plants will die? Does it mean you never do anything crazy?

Can you be edgy and irreverent and still be a gardener?

Ok, well, I'm off to the San Francisco Flower & Garden Show. Ho hum. Yawn. Right? ;-)

Is Your Fetus A Republican?
Soon, DNA testing will tell if your baby is gay. Or smart. Or the next George Bush. Ready?
By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist
Friday, March 23, 2007

"Here are but a few of the imminent questions: What would you do if you knew your unborn child was, without doubt, destined to be gay? Or what if you knew your unborn had all the DNA markings of, say, a drug addict? How about if you knew he was genetically predisposed toward becoming, oh, a severe Republican, one with, say, a vicious hate-filled talk-radio show somewhere in the Deep South that ranted about war and gays and uppity wimmin and the need for more prisons and guns in the schools?

Would you celebrate? Would you scream? Would you abort? Would you call Fox News and demand your own reality show? Or would you immediately seek medical treatment to turn that hapless helpless bundle of goo and tissue and possibility into a nice straitlaced bland-as-milk moderate Democrat with a thing for gardening and the missionary position and tepid travel magazines?"

Read more. Then send an uppity e-mail to You cuh-razy gardeners, you. ;-)


  1. Hi! I've been meaning to write to you because I think your blog is very cool.

    But this post required my comment, because I think Mark Morford is exceedingly annoying! And I'm a liberal. Anyway, this idiotic remark about gardening just cements my opinion of him. His big hobbies, from what I can tell, are porn and video games. So I guess the disrespect goes both ways.

    A blogging friend did a great MM critique awhile ago you might appreciate (although, since you do normally like him, you might not) but just in case now that you're mad at him:

  2. His big hobbies, from what I can tell, are porn and video games.

    Don't forget sex toys. ;-)

    Yes, Mark Morford drives me crazy because I, too, am a liberal who disagrees with him much of the time and think he dangerously overgeneralizes and is obsessed with porn and is snooty about urban living, but he's also one of those people I'd love to argue with over coffee sometime. He is passionate and admits his confusions and contradictions... and he's funny... and I do enjoy his over-the-top descriptions of the current administration. But, yeah, I think he'd be much more persuasive if he projected a bit more humility and balance and a little less Burning Man...

    The bottom line is... I can't stop reading him! ;-)

    I will check out your friend's critique. ;-)

  3. Ha.... Loved your friend's critique of Mark Morford, known to me from now on as "Ma-Mo"... Funny stuff.

    Do you think maybe Ma-Mo feels pressured to become a caricature of himself like (pick any radio/TV personality) did in order to protect that byline?

    Also, did you know he was raised by conservative parents in southern California? One might imagine his desire to rebel; he just took it a bit far, IMHO.

    He's still a bad habit of mine, like cheeseburgers and chocolate.

    And I'm guilty of overgeneralizing too. I just dissed all of Burning Man just to make a Ma-Mo point, even though a) I've never been and b) it's got to be more than just a drugged-out, sexist, juvenile, hot, dusty orgy. Right?